The Ultimate Collection of Digital Art: A Portfolio

Dear Reader,

Good afternoon. How are you today? I’m good, thank you for asking.

You may notice that my website paints a pretty clear picture of me as a “writer,” but I’m here to clear this up for you.

I’m not a writer.

I’m a graphic artist.

If I had to describe my digital creations in a few words, I’d go with “unconventional,” “new age,” and “elementary” (thanks, mom!). To convince you that I am a serious artist whose works should be taken seriously, I’d like to present my best works – a portfolio with stunning images accompanied by even more interesting background stories.

For interested buyers, I’ve listed selling prices below each picture.

"English Club" - 2013
“English Club” – 2013

This piece was originally made for an English Club meeting to take place in Spring 2013, but the heroic warrior* riding atop what can only be described as a miniaturized T-rex in front of an inexplicably dark explosion is really a commentary on Donald Trump’s presidential bid.

Prints start at $60.

*That is my mother.

"Scared Baby Middle Finger" - 2010
“Scared Baby Middle Finger” – 2010
"Scared Baby Driving" - 2010
“Scared Baby Driving” – 2010

The “Scared Baby” series was a wild hit among the 2010 Speech and Debate team for whom these images were made. As evidenced by his enlarged eyes, clear frustration and quivering lip, this series was meant to symbolize the monopoly Comcast holds on the cable and internet industry

Prints start at $250.

"Paul Christmas Pic" - 2011
“Paul Christmas Pic” – 2011

Each year, I create Christmas cards for members of my immediate family. Each picture portrays a loved one engulfed by the holiday spirit, free of the materialistic grasp perpetuated by the media and instead surrounded by the things they cherish most in life.

Prints start at $15.

"Liam & Sam BFFs" - 2015
“Liam & Sam BFFs” – 2015

This image is among the most requested in my portfolio, as the raw, masculine bond shared between these two career men cannot be denied.

Prints start at $450.
Autographed prints start at $675.

"Bye Bye Cindy" - 2014
“Bye Bye Cindy” – 2014

My mother tasked me to create an invitation to a goodbye party for one of her coworkers, despite the fact that I told her about 500 times that I don’t do that. As you can see from the juxtaposition of red and white shades, the picture developed a life of its own, representing our nation’s obsession with Hollywood and Photoshop perfection.

Prints start at $100.
I will email you this invitation for $5.

"Turtle mistakes trash for food"
“Turtle mistakes trash for food”
"Turtle mistakes trash for food"
“Turtle mistakes trash for food”

Early drafts of the now infamous image, “Turtle mistakes trash for food.”

Prints start at $1,000.

"Kanye Commentary"
“Kanye Commentary”

This is a Kanye West quote that really spoke to me, so I put it on a backdrop and slapped it in a calendar for my sister. It’s obviously a commentary on the shortfalls of the public education system.

Prints start at $1.

Please don’t hesitate to reach out to me with freelance art projects, or if you’d like a quick course in how to use Photoshop.



One thought on “The Ultimate Collection of Digital Art: A Portfolio

  1. Good. Now when you make some money on your “art,” you can pay me back for that stupid photoshop program that cost one million dollars. Love, Your bitter mother.

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